Disability Etiquette

Written by Julie Taylor

How can you enhance the day of a person with a disability?  Or just not ruin it?  Often simply by addressing them with respect and friendliness. More than ever before, I am delighted to see persons with disabilities enriching the lives of all of us by being in our classrooms, shops, workplaces and in society in general.

As with anything new, we often worry about how to behave with other people.  And that very worry often causes us to be inflexible and uncomfortable with new situations.  Relax - please - and just treat us with respect and decency.

1. Use 'person' first language such as “person with a disability”.  Avoid terms such a “handicapped”, “disabled” and “impaired”.

2. When introduced to a person with a disability, it is appropriate to offer to shake hands. People with limited hand use or who wear an artificial limb can usually shake hands.

3. When meeting a person who is visually impaired, always identify yourself and others who may be with you. When conversing in a group, remember to identify the person to whom you are speaking - this is a perfectly common occurrence on telephone conference calls too.

4. When talking with a person with a disability, speak directly to that person if possible.  If you have to use a translator, address the person with the disability when you speak.

 

This fabulous book is one of the (if not 'the') only speech and language therapy books available specifically for adults.  Being able to express yourself is one of the most precious gifts and the frustration experienced when you can no long express what's in your mind is awful - I speak from experience.  One of the authors is my own language therapist, Hilary Dibben who wrote What I Mean Is with language expert Anita Kess...

 

5. It is okay to offer assistance, and it is often welcomed. Wait until the offer is accepted. Then listen to or ask for instructions and give only the assistance requested.

6. Treat adults as adults. Address people who have disabilities by their first names only when extending the same familiarity to all others. (Never patronize people who use wheelchairs by patting them on the head or shoulders or speaking down to them).

7. Leaning on or hanging on to a person’s wheelchair is similar to leaning on or hanging on to a person and is generally considered annoying. The chair is part of the personal body space of the person who uses it.

8. Listen attentively when you’re talking with a person who has difficulty speaking. Be patient and wait for the person to finish, rather than correcting or speaking for the person. If necessary, ask short questions that require short answers, a nod or shake of the head. Never pretend to understand if you are having difficulty doing so. Instead, repeat what you have understood and allow the person to clarify.

 

Computers (this is my personal favourite!), especially laptops, mini laptops and devices such as the blackberry level the playing field for so many persons with a disability.

 

9. When speaking with a person who uses a wheelchair or a person who uses crutches, place yourself at eye level in front of the person to facilitate the conversation. Having to constantly look upwards causes terrible neck discomfort.

10. To get the attention of a person who is deaf, tap the person on the shoulder or wave your hand. Look directly at the person and speak clearly, slowly, and expressively to determine if the person can read lips. For those who do lip read, be sensitive to their needs by placing yourself so that you face the light source.

 

A great book by Graham Pullin which reflects the exciting trend toward design (at last) in disability products.

 

11. Relax and be yourself. Don’t be embarrassed if you happen to use accepted, common expressions such as “See you later” or “Did you hear about that?” that seem to relate to a person’s disability. People with a disability generally appreciate naturalness rather than political correctness.

12. Don’t be afraid to ask questions when you’re unsure of what to do.

“If you make a mistake, it’s okay. Apologize, learn from it and move on. Treat others as you would wish to be treated … with respect and consideration”.
The most hurtful communication is a refusal to communicate or ignoring.  

Thank you for reading this article!