We all have moments when we feel l'ess good' - even bad - about ourselves.  Sometimes something as innocuous as changing our routine slightly can make a huge difference in creating a positive outlook - sneaking in and making us feel slightly less confident and happy.  And that change, however slight, shows...

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These five 5 pointers are not meant to offer a quick fix for anxiety or depression but offer a simple way to help catch and reverse irrational  negative self talk that fuels low self esteem.  However, run through these points daily and you will be surprised how much difference they make!

1.  Call a friend or supportive family member:  Even though this is stating the obvious it's important to mention.  Often it only takes a few kind words or just hearing a loved one's voice to lift us out of a low mood.  You don't have to go into detail about what or how you are feeling but you need to make the connection.  Isolation breeds loneliness and negative self talk. Not surprisingly reaching out and connecting has the opposite effect.  Many times, a mood can change dramatically just by talking to a friend.  If there's no one you feel comfortable talking to, find a good counsellor - and consider online 'email' counselling...

2.  Do one thing positive for your health:  Ignoring good physical and mental health exacerbates low self-esteem.  Just making a small effort towards good health can dramatically help improve your self-image overall.  Schedule that doctor's appointment you have been avoiding;  take a long walk; eat healthier or even take a step towards quitting smoking. Pick an activity that resonates with you and keep it small.  Long term success is often easier by setting manageable goals.

3.  Challenge your negative self-statements:  Sometimes I have clients identify their negative self-thoughts.  Then I ask them how many time a day they indulge those thoughts?  Sometimes the number is too high to count - and typically they aren‘t even aware that they are doing it.  Explore what you're thinking and don't let your mind sneak in and take over without your being conscious of it! Negative self-talk is often an unconscious act and those negative thoughts often go unchallenged.  Challenge those thoughts every time you catch them coming out of your mouth or entering your consciousness.  Ask yourself  - regardless if they are true or not - if they're helping you in any way to feel better about yourself?  Is there good reason to be having those negative thoughts?  If you cannot think of a good reason then banish them!

4.  Help someone in need: One really good way to feel better about yourself is through helping others.  There is a special connectedness that happens when you volunteer to help others.  This does not mean let someone take advantage of you but simply to think of something that you could give that would not be 'too much' for you. Sometimes it's enough just to reach out and contribute to a forum and say a few kind and helpful words to a stranger who's going through a low point in their life. When you give of yourself you will increase your sense of purpose in the world. Some examples include: volunteering with the elderly or with children. volunteering to baby sit or bring soup to a sick friend. 

5.  Do something you have been avoiding:  Avoidance feeds anxiety, depression and low self-esteem. I know it can feel counter-intuitive to do something that you have been avoiding.  The whole purpose that we avoid is usually because of all the negative feelings we think will surface if action is taken.  However, the opposite is true. Avoidance actually creates negative feelings whereas being proactive in your life increases a sense a self-worth.  Try something small and see how it feels such as taking the dog for a walk, tackling a pile of papers that need to be filed, dusting a shelf or vacuuming the floor.