Seek Help, Even Before You Need It

Written by Julie Taylor

Seek help, even before you need it...

...is part of emotional rebuilding (rather than cognitive) because admitting that you need help with trauma counselling is an emotional business.   It’s hard to accept that you might need help.

Sometimes living situations change after brain injury and professional counselling helps.  Perhaps you can hang in there now, for a while, but it's not sustainable unless you try some trauma counselling.  After a few months or years it becomes obvious to you - or to others - that you need to change something.  Sometimes it's too late for your current relationship.  Disability and trauma is hard on marriages and other relationships.  Many survivors find that their circle of family and friends has dwindled because people are already stretched with their own lives and find it hard - or impossible - to keep up helping and giving, even if they love you.

That is one of the reasons that I urge survivors to be as independent as possible – and I urge care givers not to take on too much and burn themselves out.  Losing your friendship and support will be much harder for the survivor than dealing with limits that you put on your help now.  Please set limits that work for you if you’re a care giver.

It could be that some support – particularly of a more practical nature – by email would be sufficient.  You are welcome to contact  me here on the site and describe any problem you’re having. I will try to help you to find a satisfying solution.

If you suspect that you or a loved one has memory problems – or if a change in living situations now makes it difficult - you should consult your family doctor and other professionals listed to get the help you need.

Many medical conditions can affect memory and some of these can be corrected. Your family doctor may be able to discover the cause of the memory problem - so that you can address it - or refer you to a specialist.

Your local rehabilitation centre may also be able to refer you to an appropriate specialist.

Caregiver Tip: It is common for a survivor with a memory problem to deny there's a problem. The survivor may be reluctant to see a doctor and talk about it. If you suspect that your loved one is having memory difficulties, let him/her know you’ve noticed. Reassure him/her that memory loss can sometimes be treated under the care of a doctor. Offer to make an appointment with a doctor and to go with him/her. Don’t delay in seeking medical attention. The earlier you learn the cause of the problem, the easier it will be to manage it. You may want to meet privately with the doctor and talk about what can be done.

Specialists in Memory Problems Include:

• Neuropsychologists: These professionals can test the brain injury survivor to see if there is a memory problem, what types of memories are affected, and whether the memory problems are causing emotional or behavioural changes. They can work with the survivor and the family to help them to learn ways of coping with the memory problem.

• Psychologists, Counselors and Social Workers... help the brain injury survivor and family to accept that there is a memory problem, and give advice and counselling on how to adapt to it. For example, they can help survivors and their families deal with depression, stress, grief and other emotions.

• Speech/Language Pathologists: These health professionals are experts in helping people who have trouble communicating with others (e.g. a problem understanding speech, reading, writing or speaking). They may be able to tell if the problem is caused by trouble communicating, or by memory loss difficulties.  If the problem is one of communication, the speech therapy books in the VillageMarket may help.

• Occupational Therapists: These therapists work to help brain injury survivors perform the tasks of daily living (e.g. dressing, preparing meals, eating, etc). They can help the brain injury survivor develop tools to cope with the memory problem (such as calendars, day planners, PDA’s, computers or lists).

Get the help you need before it’s too late…