How Do I Start To ReBuild When I’m Paralyzed with Fear?
Written by Julie Taylor
A very common issue for both caregivers and trauma survivors themselves is finding the motivation and courage to start to rebuild. It’s so very tempting to wait... Just wait. Wait until you get better - although you aren’t sure what this means in your case, there’s always hope... Wait until ‘the best time’ - surely there’s no point starting to rebuild your life until the medical world has finished with you? You don’t want anything you do to jeopardize what the doctors are doing. You ‘can’t’ start anything yet because you’re just not well enough... Can you? Or are there some things you can do.
I think the most impenetrable block is the fear and anxiety around taking any step at all when you’re in such an unthinkable place. A little like the analogy of a non-climber who is afraid of heights suddenly finding himself clinging to the top of a mountain. How on earth will he get down without falling? The answer lies in thinking about one step at a time, rather than only looking at the big picture. Take small steps, one after the other. Slowly. Safely. And before you know it, you’ll be on the ground.
The Cognitive Behavioural Workbook for Anxiety: A Step by Step Program is available from Amazon at $14.93, which is a savings of over $7. Amazon also have used books available from time to time. ReBuildingYou depends on your support to grow - BUY HERE - the prices are exactly the same and you'll be supporting RBY at the same time.This starts as an emotional issue at first - although it’s easy to avoid facing it by making it a physical issue: I can’t physically do this... Te challenge here is to work within your own physical capabilities. Only do what you can do. However small those steps are, take them....
Feeling paralyzed with fear is common. Finding the courage to take that first step is so hard to do. Yet it’s probably the most important first step you’ve needed to take since your very first step when you were a baby. You almost certainly don’t remember that one, but if you watch babies learning to walk after they have tentatively taken that first step, there’s no stopping them! They discover that falling doesn’t hurt so much after all and in no time at all they’re running.
The trick is to start with some very safe and tentative steps. Small steps. When you start to think of the end goal and how enormous of a task it is to get there, rein those thoughts in. Remind yourself not to think about them. Just take one step at a time. To begin with, set small goals that are well within your ability. Make each step very do-able...
One of the most important - and easy - first tasks is to start a modest vitamin regime - check out this site and get approval from your doctor. For example there are 4 steps here; 4 small goals
* Choose a multi vitamin
* Decide where to get it from
* Organize someone to get it for you - or to take you to the pharmacy - and buy it
* Start taking them once a day - remembering them really can be quite a chore
Even forty or fifty years ago it was acknowledged by doctors that some sort of supplement was necessary to ‘enrich the blood’ - my mom used to talk to me of Parrishe’s Food, which included iron and various vitamins in a foul tasting liquid! I am a very firm believer that if you give the body every possible tool and building block, it will do a better job than any hospital alone can do in ReBuildingYou.
Once you have started taking a multi-vitamin each day, start with some simple exercise. Follow the same instructions as those for getting a multi-vitamin.
Depending on where you are physically, do anything at all that is more than you’re doing at the moment. Sitting for a while if you have only been lying down... Walking down the corridor and back if you’ve been bedridden - even if you need a nurse on either side of you and your feet just drag behind you... Which is how I started walking again.
If depression and emotional trauma has you staying in your darkened bedroom, think about how you could make walking round the block most pleasant? Perhaps:
* phone a friend and then
* arrange for a close friend or family member to walk with you? It’s also possible to find a volunteer who is willing to do exactly that. If you’re in a wheelchair but still need to make that first step, the same applies: find someone to go with you.
* Get ready
* Go for the walk
* And remember to celebrate each step of organizing the outing too.
At this point consolidate the progress you’ve made so far and extend each part of it just a little, once a week. Let me explain... For example, make sure you take your multi-vitamin at the same time each day and on top of that review your meals. Make sure that you’re having nutritious meals - breakfasts, lunches and suppers and drinking plenty of water. Drinking enough water is so very important as well as maintaining the right acidity/alkalinity of the body. This is now recognized as another very important step. As is sitting in the sunshine and/or taking vitamin D.
Increase the exercise you’re doing a little, once a week. Sit up a little straighter and hold stretches for a little longer. Walk a little further. Perhaps add one or two simple exercises that you can find here in the website or in countless books.
When adding exercises I always try and choose the ones I enjoy and can incorporate into my day. For example simple isolation exercises for the lower body while I am brushing my teeth - the challenge is to keep the upper body still and not jab your toothbrush up your nose! Or some easy upper body exercises while you’re waiting for the kettle to boil. Listen to music that lifts your mood and just move...
Exercise your fingers by pressing them together. Make circles with your wrists and ankles. Spread your toes as far apart as you can and then relax them. Hug your legs into your chest - you can do this in bed too. Try some situps - again you can be in bed and even lifting a fraction of an inch will get your muscles moving.
Carry on like this: Improving your routine and nutrition when it comes to eating and enlisting the help of caregivers, friends and family. Moving your body more - perhaps with music - throughout the day and loosen up your muscles and help stiffness disappear. In no time at all you’ll feel the urge to do more - in fact exercise releases feel-good chemicals into your body... You’ll know it’s time - and really want - to start exploring what your next step should be...
Good luck!